Sexually Deprived Nations
There’s always bold red lines when it comes to discussing sex around this part of the world, be it the customs, the traditions or the religious teachings conceiving a generation that deprives sex and looks at it as something evil, disgusting and filthy as a whole.
Which is all good -when you are dealing with emotionless robots-, what we don’t seem to understand is that things are a bit different when it comes to humans. We seem to have forgot what sex, or the attraction to the opposite gender in general is human nature, that’s how life evolved to be where it is today. There is very little we can do to control it, or erase it from existence.
At least religion, (or Islam to be precise) regulated the entire thing by encouraging early marriages (and by early I mean pretty damn early) thus limiting the entire connection between the man and the women under the sacred bind of marriage. Our societies though, are a whole different story.
A typical Arab teenager is surrounded by pornography, half-naked models are everywhere they look, be the school, around the neighborhood, Bluetooth exchanged video files on mobile devices, the internet, local TV stations broadcasting video clips of what looks like porn stars dancing to cheap music 24 hours a day, movies of sexual nature, video games, heck! It’s everywhere you go. The ideology of the perfect women being the “Victoria Secret’s Model” with cleavage out, slim and very “revealing” is being planted in the minds of the youths. The world isn’t a “child safe” place like it used to be back in the 20s, porn is accessible by a click of a button, things are way different now the west has accepted sex is an advertising and promotional tool at the expense of ethics and moral values, and we have done nothing to immune our youths from it.
When we expose our teens to such media, and raise them in an environment that promotes the idea of being in a “love relationship” with the other sex (again by cartoons, bedtime stories, movies and such) and bash and ban it in real life, the youngster is being raised between two worlds here. Not knowing what is morally and ethically right and what’s no. We have him being attracted to the opposite gender while in the same time realizing that this “thing” is not supposed to be there, they are just supposed to wait till marriage.
I wasn’t really shocked when I heard about the story of a “John Doe” in Salmabad that breaks into houses late at night half naked, barefoot and sexually harass women (Reported by AlWasat of last week). The stories of the wide spread of Lesbianism and Gayisim among the teens in schools around the country (AlWaqt Newspaper) wasn’t breaking news to me, I’ve seen and lived all of this during my secondary school years. Those aren’t gays or lesbians; their attraction to their own gender is only a child of the retroactivity and strictness of our societies. And the shock it caused to the society as a whole is what should be looked at and studied, the fact that we do not know (or care for that matter) about what our kids are exposed to and how they react to it within the school itself is alarming!
Those are young men and women, in their teenage years so full of life and energy, so wanting to live it to the extreme and experience the unknown, what we are giving and lecturing them about are dull customs, traditions and religious teachings that suggests chastity and “fasting” as a cure for such sins, and a way of life!
The truth is that teenagers are having sex whether we want to believe it or not. And Sex feels good, reciting facts about STDs, babies, or even that they will rotten in hell for their sins night and day is not going to be enough to stop them all from having sex. At that age, they think they’re invincible. Nothing bad is going to happen to them and even if it does, they have plenty of time to outgrow it.
The complexity of life today has just tabooed Marriage as a solution to this dilemma, the young guy is supposed to at least finish his Bachelors degree, and gain at least 2-3 years of work experience for him to financially afford commitment. By that time, the best years of life have already passed by. Options are widely available, be it homosexuality or prostitution, or even the supposedly “religious solution” temporary marriages, all are widespread and are widely practiced.
Away from this…
We usually go out for lunch every Thursday after work as coworkers, in one of the local restaurants in Manama. I was overhearing the guys at the next table as I went in for late last week and had to dine in alone, I was listening to men being men I spent a good half an hour listening to sexual jokes and a digest of the Italian and Spanish football leagues that I practically know nothing of, anyway.. So one guy speaks out loud and complains about his sex life “We only have sex a few times a month, two or three tops” he says. “Good for you, the last time I had sex was six months ago, she is just never interested!” the other replied. I put my spoon down and took a look back to get a glimpse of what those two clowns look like (so did the entire place), they were very young cleanly shaved men (most probably well paid bankers) in their early 30s, I continued to much on my dish and wonder (my fingers started to itch wanting to get to a PC and get some steam out).
Why are kids raised to believe that sexuality, sexual desires, and sexual feelings are bad? It is no wonder that those “BOYS” can’t even show some romance to their women! It is no wonder that his “wife” is not interested!
Is there a solution for all of this, can this be fixed? Or is it just another one of those unsolvable problems that we have to live with being US?
US the great nation that can not admit that such problem exists in the first place, let alone looking for a solution..
Somebody posted a reply on your post at the “Word on the street” blog
http://wordonthestreet-bh.blogspot.com/2007/05/re-sexually-deprived-nations_16.html
Your critic on the “Word on the Street” blog makes a poor argument. Considering the very large families (and the explosive population growth) combined with extreme poverty in many parts of the ME, I think it’s VERY hard sell to try to claim that the attitude of Muslim’s towards sex is more socially viable than other people’s.
Craig, Bahrain is not in extreme poverty, and its population growth is not explosive. What you’re saying can be true about some parts of the ME, not the Gulf States though.
I wasn’t really talking about Bahrain, but the Arab nations in general. It’s our traditions and customs in the face of an intellectual cultural invasion that promotes Sex and encourages it.
As for the poverty rate around Bahrain, it is left unknown and ambiguous for obvious reasons, the government refuses to publish any reports that show figures relating to poverty rates or even defining the poverty line itself. It is well worth noting that in a report issued by the BCHR quoting a governmental report revealed that the number of households who are unable to work and those who receive financial assistance from Ministry of Labor and charitable contribution from charity funds associations exceeds 20,000 families, which are around 80,000 people whom each receive BD18 per months. I personally don’t think poverty or richness has much effect on sex, on the contrary I am a strong believer that poverty and neediness encourages further attachments to religion and its commandments.
WOS:
Thanks for thoughts of help and support, but you have truly missed the jist of the post. I sure appreciate your contribution.
Exactly my point. I found Craig’s comment out of place, refering to poverty in the ME. What about richer states like Kuwait and UAE? Connecting ME to poverty is a very stereotypical view of the ME – reality is rather different.
I disagree.
i think they should have sex education in school. teach students about sex… parents aren’t doing it and someone needs to teach these teenagers about everything related to the topic.
personally, i don’t understand why families or parents, or rather why this part of the world has to make sex such a taboo thing. i think for this mere fact, you find boys and girls turning to having sex w/ the same sex. if you can’t get it from the opposite sex, then you can get it from your friend or maybe this is why you’re seeing an increase in sexual aggression towards kids on the street.
altho, i will say this, i think that many families find it perfectly normal for their boys to do whatever they want but if it’s a daughter, it would never be accepted.
you make some good points… but i think when you have ppl getting married just to have sex… well, i think that it’ll make for unhappy ppl later on and that could be why there’s so many ppl that have extramarital affairs here.
I found Craig’s comment out of place, referring to poverty in the ME.
My comment was out of place, here. Because it was intended as a counter to the argument made in the counter-post.
What about richer states like Kuwait and UAE?
What about poorer (and larger) ones?
Connecting ME to poverty is a very stereotypical view of the ME
Actually here in the US we don’t associate poverty with the ME. I think most Americans would be shocked to learn how much poverty there is in some parts of the ME. Whose stereotype is it that you are throwing at me?
– reality is rather different.
okie dokie then. I guess I’ll just get back on the redneck bus and mosey on outta here.
Girl stoned to death for falling in love
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=455400&in_page_id=1879
Here is the video
http://ballyblog.wordpress.com/2007/05/04/warning-uncensored-video-iraqis-stone-girl-to-death-over-loving-wrong-boy/
Dear Moodz,
You’ve spoken about a little bit of a problem , What is the big picture ?
What if Bahrain follows suit in the extreme measures undertaken by Saudi Arabia ? You’ll be having separating areas for both sexes in banks restaurants and ministires, different colleges, even different shopping malls and when crossing the line, you will be whipped infront of everybody … but that does’nt seem to solve anything … and strong proof about that was what happened in Riyadh few months ago, where four teenagers ( aged 18 – 20) have attacked and harassed two women .. and we still hear about some incidents here and there starred by young men in Saudi .. !
Looking into it, eventhough these topics are a sort of taboo or are being ” tabooed ” for one reason or another because it is something alien to our cultures, but it is an international issue – or should be – and has been for a long time.
And it is true that these issues are mostly linked to poverty, but not always ! For example:
Why would someone want to rape a child ?
What deepens the problem are the cases of pedofiles, prostitutes, pornography, nudity etc and making it available “globally” on the net and other medias like TV satellites, magazines etc. Another thing is that prostitutes are actually imported and exported to our countries because of the sex trade, I’ve seen a TV report about nightclubs in Dubai , and it mentions that these nightclubs a found for such things ” prostitution” !
Another thing, have you wondered about the large number of Ethiopian or morrocan women in Bahrain , especially in areas like the exhibition road and Gudaibiya … To tell you the truth I have’nt seen – yet – any ethiopian men around ! Where did that come from ? Or is it that Bahrain has suddenly become so advanced, stable and financially and economically strong that it became a heaven and a sanctuary to everybody ?
One step in solving this problem is trying to admit that the problem is there and it is spreading in the country, and two or three investigative articles is not enough, the case should be solved at an official or governmental level and strike the iron while it hot. And not wait to the point we see nude or gay marches in Bahrain for their ” rights “, or get shocked for knowing about devil worshippers or when knowing that our children are being involved in such acts … And try to educate people about these issues nationwide ..
Internationally, pornography and nudity on the web should be considered as crimes as a start and such websites should be banned …
Anon ,
These acts are done by people of the Yezidi religion …
One of their beliefs that if a Yezidi marries somebody not of their religion , he should be dead …
@Exclamation:
Alright I seriously can’t see the rational behind the theories being thrown here on the connection between poverty and the sexual activity, now it’s one thing to claim that poverty is a main cause for prostitution, that’s obviously not the case here in Bahrain.
I will also have to disagree with you for blaming the media. I was just arguing with my friend the other day about something similar. It’s very simple, just because the violent nature of some video games allows me to cut through the flesh of “enemies” with a chainsaw, it will not necessarily encourage me to go on a killing spree and butcher people left and right.
The same thing goes with sex; we need to learn that pornography is not a sin. Scientifically and physiologically speaking, there is very little evidence that supports the claim watching adult movies will damage your ethical standpoint beyond repair. Kids watch porn, it’s a fact (Statistics show that porn sites are the top accessible all around the internet, and the situation isn’t really any better in Bahrain), and kids will grow out of it, I know I have.
I am a strong believer in the freedom of the internet, blocking porn sites will not fix a thing.
P.S: We have no “devil worshipers” in Bahrain. Refer to the blog of LIB for an excellent article on this media scam.
Thanks moodz for referring us. Yes apparently anyone who listens to Rock n Metal music is automatically labeled a devil-worshiper and a satanist. Sad but true, here are the articles we covered regarding this subject:
Sniff Glue… Worship WHO?
Hug me Satan, Show me the Love…
LiB Team at the Dubai Desert Rock Festival 2007
Nicely Said…
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- Mohammed AlMaskati
East Riffa, Bahrain
I support a ONE Bahrain!
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